Yes, our gorgeous triplets, Sydney, Molly and Giselle (listed in Birth Order) are just over one year old and we've survived (just barely).
Now I can't say that this has been the easiest year of my life but it has certainly been one of the most fulfilling. As a matter of fact its been an 11 year ride so far. Susan and I had been trying to get pregnant for 10 years before we were blessed. On top of that we also have a teenage son, he's 17, all growed up now and he presents his own set of challenges but being a parent of supertwins (as they are called in the parlance of the day) presents its own unique challenges. So without further ado, I present to you my top ten list of things I've learned in my first year as a parent of triplets:
Don't negotiate with your spouse just do -- the more you do, the chits you will have saved up to negotiate on those days when you really need to :). Also, both of you are working hard so if you have the energy to get it done, just do it.
Play Zone Defense, man on man DOES NOT work - we've tried man on man, "you take Molly, I'll take Giselle" - what about Syd? Woops, you have to play zone and when possible deal with more than one at a time.
Let your heart get big - as any of you know when having kids, you're heart swells, well imagine what its like - the love, the caring, the defender in you, how much thats multiplied with more than one - just let it be and enjoy it.
Don't get too attached to sleep but grab it when you can- there really is no substitute for a good night's rest, really sleep is in my Top 5 but I've learned to do with less for a period of time, as the girls got older we actually got to sleep more but I am more fulfilled and tired at the end of a day with them then any 18 hour work day could ever do to me.
The problem with Triplets is that someone always has a problem -- Giselle is hungry, ok got that, Molly is tired - ok got that, Sydney needs a change - ok done, you see, its never one and done. There is always someone that needs attention - (play zone)
Get in Shape - we have 2 sets of stairs in our house and there are a lot of steps in each stairwell - when I go up and down - usually ten times a day, I'm carrying over 20lbs in each arm. Staying in shape and staying healthy is good for you and essential for them.
Love your family but don't demand their help - let them give what they can give - I say this with all the love in my heart. We love our relatives on both sides but really our families have no idea of the immensity of the work involved in taking care of three infants. And we accept that and grateful for the help they have given us but you need to seek out other families with multiples if you're to learn how to do this right.
Burn out will happen - yup, both Sue and have each had our burn out periods, where you're just not thinking the way you should to resolve issues. When that happens the other takes over.
No one thinks they can do this but everyone can - as we say to people who say to us, "better you than me" or "how do you possibly do it" our response is - what are you going to do, give them back?
I now truly understand the term "labor of love" - because that's what it is but to get all those smiles everyday, and kisses and to see them develop, its worth every bottle, every diaper, every trip to Costco (yuck!)
No, this has nothing to do with innovation, social media or neuroscience.. its just plain interesting.
What they found, said Katherine K. Whitcome, a post-doctoral fellow at
Harvard and the lead author of the paper, was evidence that evolution
had produced a stronger and more flexible lower spine for women. After
studying 19 pregnant subjects, Ms. Whitcome found that the lumbar, or
lower back, curve in women extends across three vertebrae, as opposed
to just two in men. And the connecting points between vertebrae are
relatively larger in women, and shaped differently in ways that make
the stack more stable and less prone to the bones shifting out of
alignment or breaking. Entire Story in the NY Times
Here's a teaser for the upcoming 7 months pics of the triplets. Giselle loves her mobile so much she decided to pull it closer so all the pieces were completely at her disposal.... guess I have to lower her mattress tonite.
Its been quite a while since I've posted. There is so much I want to
say but so little time... the girls settled in at 6AM last nite!!! All
three are sick with colds so they are not sleeping well... (neither are
Susan or myself). But, we have been deluged by requests for pictures
so here they are in the sidebar -- these were taken at home and in Riverside Park a
couple of weeks ago by our friend Abdi Aminlari.
Moly and Giselle came home on Friday so I am spending some time getting the house set up and helping to keep the kids fed. Syd is still in the hospital to resolve some premmie issues and hopefully will be home soon. Will resume a regular conversation next week.
For those of you who know me well, you know that I am the father of a 16 1/2 year old in addition to our three new additions. That far from makes me an expert in parenting In fact I think I need to learn it all over again. I'm going to take a few days to go back to parenting school and get ready for them. But please keep checking in. I'll be posting regularly regarding the conversations we've just started. I'm especially interested in the notion of content in a web 2.0 environment and its place in customer experience. David Armano - you know what I'm talking about.
Our girls, Sydney, Molly and Giselle were welcomed into this world at 9:04, 9:05 and 9:06 PM respectively last nite. The girls weighed in between 3 lbs 11 oz and and 3lbs 4.6 oz - amazing weights given their gestational age.
The reason the girls had to come out is because Susan's preeclampsia was getting worse - her blood pressure was spiking and her liver function was abnormal - all bad signs. So the decision was made by the covering physician - Alan Kessler that it was time to Deliver. Now we respect Dr. Kessler tremendously but Susan and I did not have the bond with him that we have with Dr. Edersheim so we were bummed that she couldn't deliver our triplets. We were waiting in pre-op getting prepared and were extremely anxious... Dr. Edersheim was on a plane back from California so we couldn't even talk to her. Well we're about to go in and the door bursts open... Its Dr. Edersheim!!! She got our page and came straight from JFK to the hospital. "OH MY G-D" Susan screams, "I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE HERE..." They hug like long lost sisters and Susan begins to cry. She didnt realize until that moment just how tense and nervous she really was. And me as well. Everything felt right with her there. Everything was going to be all right because the calvary was here... and it was and is! It was quie a scene with 3 pediatrician's, 6 pediatric nurses, 3 anesthesiologists, Dr. Edersheim, a resident, 2 scrub nurses, Susan and myself. They allowed me in after they gave Sue her epidural and in fact had already made the incision. It was truly amazing to see the rapidity with which they delivered her, the placentas, contract her uterus and close her - the entire procedure once we got going took about an hour.
As I write this our girls are downstairs in the NICU - doing just fine. And I'm sitting at Susan's bedside while she sleeps - although the girls were delivered around 9 Eastern time, we didnt get Susan back to her room until 4:30 AM - we had to wait on labs to be done before we could head back.
So here's my favorite part... the pics...
Here is Susan as they started the c-section:
Last out... Baby C - Giselle - 3 minutes post delivery
Baby A- Sydney - check out the scale by comparing her body length to the hand of the doctor. They are amazingly small. And beautiful!
Here's Molly - the tube down her throat is used to drain fluid and to provide perenteral nutrition
Finally, here's Mom today, holding one of her lovely's and falling in love.